For some families, Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year. However, for some separated families, it can be a source of tension, and conflict, and the most dreaded time of the year.
Unfortunately, there is no one answer for separated families as to what arrangements should look like over the festive period.
Every family is different, meaning contact arrangements for one family doesn’t always work for another, and it can be difficult to know how to navigate making arrangements with the other parent.
However, based on our experience of working with families at this time of year, we set out some key tips on how to approach planning Christmas contact:
- Children first and foremost – When making arrangements remember to consider how these will impact the children and their time. It can be easy to become focussed on the logistics such as handover times rather than considering the impact the arrangements will have on the children.
- Keep communication civil – Discussing child arrangements can be emotional at the best of times. Christmas adds heightened emotions resulting in more heated discussions. To try and keep conversations on track. Try avoiding any hostile language and keep the conversation to the topic. It is also helpful to communicate via emails or a parenting app to keep a log which both parents can refer back to, reducing the risk of confusion of arrangements and therefore arguments.
- Compromise – It is important to accept that, in order to reach an agreement, there may be a need to compromise on some points.
- Plan ahead – Parents should discuss arrangements as early as possible to reduce the risk of heightened conflict nearer the festive period. Starting the conversation early helps iron out any issues in good time and reduces any tension over the festive period.
- Stick to what was agreed – When time has been taken to reach an agreement this should then be followed.
- Remain flexible – There will always be a risk that unforeseen circumstances will arise over Christmas, whether it is flu or a burst pipe that impacts arrangements, which may be out of the parent’s control. If this impacts on the agreed arrangements, it is important to recognise that these things cannot be helped and to work with the other parent to rearrange any missed contact.
There is no one answer for how arrangements are to look. Some families may choose to alternate who the children spend Christmas Day with, and others will arrange for an exchange throughout the day. Many factors can influence this, for example work commitments and location of parents.
The most important point is that the children’s welfare and best interests are considered throughout. The festive period includes a lot of days which are special for the children, and they will want to enjoy this time.
If you are experiencing issues regarding your child arrangements over the festive period and would like a chat to discuss this, please do not hesitate to contact a member of the Family Team by emailing FamilyTeam@Jacksons-law.com.
